Clean kitchens, hands-on spouses, perfectly groomed children who say please and
thank you and eat their vegetables, not to mention all the time in the world to make food
from scratch and keep up her appearance?! She makes it look so easy!
It’s not difficult in today’s age of social media to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves
to others. The unlimited access we have to other people’s lives means that this can
happen at any time and in any place. We find ourselves envious of the trips, the toys,
and the time that others seem to have in abundance. You might find yourself thinking
“Why can’t I be put together like her?” or maybe even “If she can do it, and I can’t, I
must be a bad mom.” In combination with our negative self-talk, we may also read
judgmental comments that further drive this feeling of not being good enough.
Comparison can be harmful to our mental health. We may develop unrealistic
expectations for what motherhood “should” look like. I have spoken with many mothers
both personally and professionally who have found themselves in the cycle of “How
does she do it?”
So how do we stop this?
First, be thoughtful and intentional about your social media. This may mean “muting”
that influencer who makes it look so easy. You may need to unfollow or block accounts
that you notice activate your negative self-talk. This may even look like taking a break
from social media (whether for a short time or altogether). We’ve heard the saying “you
are who you surround yourself with.” This includes our environment. Give yourself
permission to take a step back from something that does not feel healthy.
Second, set aside a time for gratitude. This can be the first or last few minutes of the
day, or even during that late night feeding. Keep the goal small, and identify one or two good
things you did that day. This may be “I hugged my child when they fell” or “I successfully
transitioned my baby from arms to crib!” (which, as a mother myself, is a HUGE win!).
When we acknowledge the wins we are able to slowly slip away from the grip of
perfectionism and instead lean into motherhood.
Finally, embrace YOU. You may not be the “crafty” mom or the “crunchy” mom, but you
have talents and gifts all your own. Maybe you’re the mom who listens as her child tells
her a story (for the 5th time). Or you’re the mom whose yard is messy because your kids
play sports. Motherhood IS hard but you can make it a little bit easier by embracing you.
If you are a mother struggling with negative self-talk, comparison, and low self-esteem, I
would be grateful to connect with you and be a part of your village, accompanying you
on your motherhood journey. At Greenline we want you to feel heard, understood,
and supported. Consider reaching out today!
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